Can't Live Without by Joanne Phillips

Author:Joanne Phillips
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: General Fiction
ISBN: 0957309406
Publisher: Mirrorball Books
Published: 2012-05-14T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 15

After work on Monday I visit my mother to let her know Lipsy’s news – another traumatic activity I stupidly agreed to take on. I also plan to tell her that I have in fact decided to go and see my father. I figure that one will take the sting out of the other. I’m half right. She doesn’t seem too angry about Lipsy, or disappointed even. The woman, I am amazed to see, blames herself.

‘First you and now little Lipsy,’ she wails as I try to hustle her into her favourite seat and ply her with calming camomile tea. ‘And while she was under my own roof as well. It’s all my fault. I’ve let you all down.’

Now, I blame my mother for a lot of things. It can’t have escaped your notice that relations are sometimes a bit strained between us. But I have never blamed my mother for my own mistakes, and I certainly won’t be blaming her for Lipsy’s. That’s why I prepare her camomile tea now with just a little bit more care than usual, and then I sit opposite her and take both her hands in mine. I squeeze them together, telling her with as much sincerity as I can, ‘Mum, it definitely isn’t in any way your fault.’ And then I tell her that I love her. Because, in lots of ways, I do.

It turns out that she was worried that I would think she’d encouraged it. I laugh at this – she may be more lenient as a grandma than she was as a mother, but I know for a fact she couldn’t relax that much.

We talk about Lipsy for a while, planning her future for her the way adults do when their kids aren’t around to speak up for what they want.

‘I’m going to ask Lipsy to move back home,’ I tell my mum. ‘Not because of anything you’ve done,’ I add as she starts wailing again. ‘You’ve been fantastic and we’re both really grateful. And, if you don’t mind, I could still do with using your washing machine facilities, just until I can afford one of my own.’

‘I’ll buy you a washing machine,’ my mother says between sniffs. ‘I’d love to help out with the house.’

‘I know you would, Mum. But you don’t have any money, do you? You’d put it on a credit card. And then what would happen?’ I really don’t want to be having this conversation again but why won’t the woman just give it up with the buying things all the time? What is wrong with her? It’s like she only gets her self-worth from spending money, from having “stuff”.

Lipsy’s words from yesterday come back to me, almost obliterated by everything else that came after. What had she said exactly? It’s just stuff, Mum. There are more important things in life than that. Something along those lines. The words niggle at me but I’m not sure why. My mother could do with hearing them, though. If she wasn’t feeling so vulnerable right now I might tell her.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.